If you’re separated, who has the children at Christmas?

Eleanor Kay, a Solicitor in our Family team, discusses the issue of child arrangements for separated couples at Christmas.

Christmas can be a difficult time for separated families and conflict can arise with regards to which household the child spends it in. 

Understandably, both parties (and likely extended families) will want the opportunity to spend time with their children over the festive period. 

Currently the law presumes, if there are no safeguarding concerns, that contact with both parents is usually in the best interests of children and this extends to time during the holidays too.

In the absence of a Child Arrangements Order or prior agreement reached - for example through mediation, parties must communicate to reach an agreement as to child contact arrangements. 

When considering this, it is essential that the best interests of the children are the first consideration and a court application should always be viewed as a last resort.

What works best for a family during the festive period will vary depending on personal circumstances. 

It may be that Christmas holidays are agreed on a week on/week off basis alternating each year to ensure the special holiday days alternate between each party. 

It may also be – if the children are school aged – that the normal term time arrangements continue to provide continuity for the children, again, with the special holiday days alternating each year. 

Depending on locality of parties, Christmas day may be split with children spending the morning with one party and the afternoon with the other. 

Where communication breaks down between parties, solicitors can step in to attempt to help alleviate the pressure and assist with communication in the hope of reaching an agreement without the need to go to court. 

Parties may feel comforted by having something in writing that they can refer to each Christmas to minimise the risk of unnecessary conflict. 

Whilst not legally binding, a letter from a solicitor to confirm holiday arrangements can be a helpful tool to refer to.

Effective co-parenting relies on open communication, compromise and flexibility. Sorting out the arrangements for children can be challenging, even without the added pressure of Christmas. 

If you would like guidance and advice in relation to any of the issues above, we can discuss what would best suit your personal circumstances and the options open to you. 

We are pleased to offer an initial appointment to discuss your situation, whatever it might be, for a fixed fee of £110 + VAT.

If you have any questions about this issue or any other family related legal query, please email or call the Family team on 01603 625231.